3 life-changing lessons my eating disorder recovery journey taught me
By Tanja _ October 28, 2019
Life happens. It is that simple and yet so difficult. Sometimes things happen and don’t go as well as we wish. But is this bad? No, as it keeps life interesting and shows us that we are not perfect. These imperfections make us special and unique. The imperfections of our lives, the ups and the downs, contribute to our own unmistakable story and the person we are today.
I had a wonderful childhood, with very supportive parents and family, who loved me for who I was. As I grew up, I was excited about my youth and my future. I looked forward to going to parties, dating attractive boys and just doing the typical things that young people use to do. My life was perfect.
But then things happened that I didn’t want to happen. I became anorexic at the age of 12 and my wild dreams were replaced by thoughts of food and fears about weight gain. However, looking back now, I can say that my eating disorder recovery changed how I see the world and shaped me into a deeper, more thoughtful and happier person.
I would like to share three life-changing lessons my eating disorder recovery journey taught me about myself and my life.
1. You are stronger than you think you are
When I started my eating disorder recovery journey, I felt like the weakest and most vulnerable person in the world. I was full of doubts about the whole eating disorder recovery thing and my ability to be strong enough to resist my inner eating disorder voice or my ability to change my behaviour. However, looking back now, I have to admit I was stronger than I thought. Of course, my eating disorder recovery wasn’t easy – it was full of ups and downs but there was an inner strength that kept me going.
At whatever point of your eating disorder recovery journey you are at the moment, take a moment and be proud of yourself. Even if you are full of self-doubts and at risk of falling back into your previous eating disorder patterns, remember how far you have come already. You are standing up to your eating disorder, purely because of your own willpower. Your own inner strength and no one else brought you to choose yourself and your life over your eating disorder. You are stronger than you think you are.
2. You become an expert about yourself
During my anorexic period, I saw my body as my biggest enemy. My body was something I couldn’t trust at all. I didn’t know much about myself at that time and didn’t listen to the signals my body was sending to me. Of course, my body was telling me to eat more, but I resisted these messages because of my anorexia. However, during my eating disorder recovery journey, I started (thanks to meditation) to see the beauty and the uniqueness of my body and my soul. And for the first time in a while I started to listen to the signs of my body.
The most surprising thing I learned was that my body has a natural way of telling me when I’m full or when I’m hungry. It knows exactly what and how much it needs. Recovering fully from anorexia also gave me the experience to understand how my body works. I learned to listen and trust my body. This means that I eat what my body tells me to eat. On some days I might eat a lot or experience a big urge for sweets or cheese and on other days I might only feel like eating a salad.
I always follow these urges, because my body has taught me that it needs specific nutrients at particular times. If my body craves a particular food, I don’t think about whether it is healthy for me or not, as I have learned there is no “right” or “wrong” way to eat. I find that the best way to eat is the way that works for my physical and emotional needs.
3. You appreciate life more and live it more intensely
It is the suffering we experience that enables us truly to appreciate the beautiful moments. It is the memory of pain that makes us thankful in times of joy. My experience of anorexia and subsequent recovery made me realise that happiness and health should not be taken for granted. Since recovering from my eating disorder, I’m thankful for every day that I live as a healthy person. Of course, not every day is wonderful and I also have my sad and grey days, but I’m still healthy and I’m no longer trapped in my eating disorder.
My eating disorder recovery journey also made me realise that our time on earth is limited. I don’t postpone important things any more and I only spend time with people who are a positive influence on me. This might sound a little selfish, but after suffering from a life-threatening eating disorder, I didn’t want to waste more time on things and people that were not good for me. I just wanted to live again and fulfil my dreams.
If you are at the start of your eating disorder recovery journey, you might not be able to see any positive aspects to the suffering you are going through. However, one day you will look back and realise that your suffering wasn’t for nothing and that you have learned a valuable life lesson.
You don’t need to struggle alone on your recovery journey. Simply get in touch to discuss how I can help you.
It is entirely possible to overcome an eating disorder – I have done it, others have done it and so can you!
