“I feel fat!” 3 ways to feel better in your body
By Tanja, Psychologist for Eating Disorders & Body Image
Hi there!
I’m Tanja. I’m a qualified psychologist specialising in eating disorders, negative body image and body hate. I’m also a survivor of anorexia.
My mission is to help you to end your lifelong struggles with food and your body and inspire you to uncover and embrace you true worth. Read more…
What thoughts do you have when you scroll through social media and compare yourself to others? Do you feel unworthy or depressed? Or do you simply have thoughts like “I feel fat”?
I know these feelings so well. I spent so many years with these “I feel fat” feelings and I can not count the times I told myself “I am fat”. The sad truth is that feeling fat became a normal feeling that stayed with me and made my life worse and worse. I reacted to the “I feel fat” feelings by going on a restrictive diet, developing anorexia and beating myself up continuously.
The reality is that being on a diet or doing a lot of exercises at the gym will not help you to stop these “I feel fat” feelings and the negative talk about your body.
Here are 3 things you can do instead of dieting to stop feeling fat and start feeling fabulous.
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Categories
Anorexia
Binge Eating Disorder
Bulimia
Intuitive Eating
Mindfulness
Orthorexia
Strategies for Recovery
1. Fat is not a feeling
Feeling fat is a thought pattern that often distracts from a much larger issue. What do you actually mean when you think “I feel fat”? Do you feel ashamed? Ugly? Scared? Lonely? Unworthy? Unlovable? Vulnerable? The truth is that none of these feelings flow automatically from feeling fat, but diet culture and fat-hating media messages tells us that being fat is unattractive, unhealthy and unsuccessful.
If you have missed my post about Why diets are so harmful for your body and mind, you can read it here.
By contrast, what does “I feel skinny” mean to you? Do you feel beautiful? Lovable? Worthy? Attractive? Happy? Lucky? Again, none of these feelings are inevitable. Feelings of being fat or skinny are states of mind and not directly dependent on your weight or body shape.
So if you say “I feel fat”, you allow yourself to feel bad that day, while feeling skinny means that you can feel good about yourself.
To understand the implications behind the “I feel fat” feelings, take some time to think about what the underlying feeling is and think through why you feel this way. What are you distracting yourself from?
I know it is often so much easier to focus on your body image than to face potential failures or the dread of doing something you don’t want to do. It is easier to blame your body for being unhappy than to address your underlying emotions, which is essential to improve your body image and reach happiness.
Next time you think “ I feel fat”, ask yourself the following questions:
- What does “fat” feel like?
- Do I know for sure that these feelings are true?
- Even if they are true, what is the worst thing that could result from these feelings?
By doing this, you will uncover the real reason why you are not feeling so good. Once you have identified the reason, you can start dealing with those negative emotions.
2. Note down your good qualities
Too much focus on your perceived negative qualities can also be part of the reason you feel fat. It is ok to admit that you are curvy or overweight, but it is not ok to call yourself a negative term, such as “fat cow” or “whale”.
Become aware that a negative mindset narrows your thinking; positive emotions allow you to envision more possibilities in your life, while negative emotions make it even more difficult to overcome small obstacles in your life.
For the following exercise, you will need a piece of paper, a pen and some time for yourself.
Start by thinking about all your positive physical features. Now ask yourself:
- What are the physical features you like the most (choose at least three)?
- What can they do for you?
You could say something like “my mouth, because it allows me to talk to my friends” or “my arms because I can huge my family, which allows me to express my love”.
Now turn to your non-physical qualities and ask yourself:
- What are the non-physical qualities you like the most (choose at least three)?
- Which qualities do people compliment you about?
Your answer could be something like: being a good listener, being honest or being kind.
Once you have finished your list, try to add at least one more positive quality every week. Also try to do something nice for yourself every single day, even if you don’t mean it at first. Doing this you will shift your mindset about yourself and you will start thinking about yourself in a better light.
3. Become aware of body-bashing and how to talk with friends/family
How do you react if one of your friends or family members criticises their own body or says “I’m fat”? Do you do the same about your own body? If so, don’t blame yourself for doing it. It is normal human behaviour to want to say “I’m fat too!” This “relating” behaviour shows empathy. However, this just tends to keep negative body-bashing and body-bullying behaviours going. So try to become aware of your behaviour and redirect the conversation because negativity doesn’t help anyone – especially not you.
How do you react to your friends’ or family members’ feelings of insecurity about their bodies? Do you listen with understanding and compassion or do you begin to think that they shouldn’t feel like this because they are attractive, thin or more successful than you in their job?
Remember that they are human beings too and are entitled to feel insecure. No matter what our shape, size, weight, background or status is, we are all entitled to feel what comes naturally to us. Recognise this and allow others to express their insecurities about their bodies as well.
Keep in mind: if you give in to the “I feel fat” feelings and let your critical inner voice determine if you have a good or bad day, you are only making it easier for it to continue to plague you.
You don’t need to struggle alone on your recovery journey.
Simply get in touch to discuss how I can help you.
It is entirely possible to overcome an eating disorder or body hate –
I have done it, others have done it and so can you!
Join the Body Acceptance & Food Freedom Collective
Receive a weekly dose of inspirations to help you make peace with your body and food.
Don’t worry, we hate spam too. You can unsubscribe any time.
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Hi there!
I’m Tanja. I’m a qualified psychologist specialising in eating disorders, negative body image and body hate. I’m also a survivor of anorexia.
My mission is to help you to end your lifelong struggles with food and your body and inspire you to uncover and embrace you true worth. Read more…